What’s the Deal with All This Fear?
Fear is a very human experience–we’re all scared of something. Even perennial tough guy Indiana Jones is afraid of snakes
Fears Can “Run” our Lives
Many of us have irrational fears of something. Our fears can be based on traumatic experiences, false beliefs or shame. As far as basic fears of “things” goes, many of us fear:
If you’re like me, chances are you get a little queasy (or maybe outright terrified) around some of those things. Have you ever wondered what drives phobias and fears of things that really won’t get us carried off in a pine box?
What We Really Fear: Shame
Unlikely as it might sound, the cause is shame. Shame distorts reality and tells us we are bad, don’t matter, can’t make mistakes, don’t deserve to be happy, can’t change, are broken and unlovable. Shame sets us up to think in distorted ways because we perceive ourselves in distorted ways. It causes an underlying fear that is then manifested in all sorts of overt fears and phobias.
Even more, every time we react to our fears, shame tells us, “See? You really are stupid and incapable.” And the shame grows and seems more real. And we feel fear that those aggressive shame messages are the Truth. Every time we react to our shame and fears, we allow them to tell us, again, that they are real and true.
Facing fears (and ultimately facing our Faulty Core Beliefs or shame messages) makes them smaller. We don’t have to react to our fears and slide down the funnel into shame. We can choose to do something else. We can choose to be free of fear!