Shame Statements

Self-denigrating attack on your spirit.

I’m not enough
I should / shouldn’t
Good people don’t … (If I were really good I wouldn’t …)
If I just try harder, then …
I don’t deserve
I’m different from others
I’m unique
I should have what I want
I need others to make me feel better
If you loved me, you would / wouldn’t …
I’m not loved
I’m all alone
I’m not lovable / I don’t deserve love.
Nobody likes you.
You are not as good as others
You are the only one who has made this mistake
You can’t do it right

PRIDE

I’m better than others.
I’m smarter.
I’m the exception.
I’m more / better / stronger than …
I deserve … (beauty wealth, you, what I want)
I’m different / unique
Cutting in line

I can’t change / this is just how I am.
I’m bad.
If others knew the truth about me, they would see how bad I am.
You’re a bad parent.
I am dumb / stupid / incapable.
There’s something wrong with me
I’m a mistake.
You’re worthless.
Quit. Give up.
There’s no coming back from what you’ve done.
You can’t do this
Nobody cares about you
You are not as significant as other people.
You need to prove that you’re “enough” by getting this right
When you do ____, then you’ll be enough / happy / fulfilled.

Needs:

You have no needs
Your needs aren’t important
Your needs are the only thing that matters
You get to do whatever you want, to meet your needs

If they loved me, they would / wouldn’t …
If I made more money, then I’d be enough.
If my hair wasn’t so straight / curly / blonde / if I had more hair
I’m old / wrinkled / I look weathered —I’m just not enough.
Something’s wrong with me because I / they / we …
I broke up a relationship / got divorced, and that means I am (or they are) bad
I didn’t get invited, which means something is wrong with me.
I can’t have _____ because I’m bad.
If I were just better, then I could have ______. It means I’m bad.
Because I don’t have certain friends, it means I’m not lovable.
I hate myself.
If you can’t do it perfectly, it’s not worth trying or doing.
Mistakes are bad.